Good to see everybody this morning. Glad you're here. And man, it is, it is crowded in here. Um, and that's praise the Lord for that. That's a good thing. We're excited about that. So, my name is Michael. I'm the lead pastor and we are doing a series in the book of Malachi, the book of Malachi.

Today we're talking about essentials for a faithful marriage. If you get the, the weekly emails that Wade sends out called the Herald. You would have seen this past week there was, uh, an article in there about marriage deserts. Did y'all see that? And this article about marriage deserts was about some neighborhoods, like entire neighborhoods in the United States, that have hardly any married people in it.

Lots of houses, lots of people living there, but hardly anybody there is married. And this trend persists over a long period of time to where, like, there's just like, you might have kids growing up and not really have any examples in their life. Of a mom and a dad, they might have some other arrangement, but they don't have a mom and a dad who are married as husband and wife.

And that's, that's a travesty, right? Because marriage is the most enduring and oldest and of all the institutions of human history. It's foundational to any society. Marriage is this foundational institution. And so, marriage, as it has been understood and practiced and valued throughout all time, throughout all history.

And every culture has been evaporating before our eyes. We don't see as many healthy marriages. And marriage itself has been altered and upended and redefined and devalued, and ultimately it is being destroyed. To the point to where we have like an entire generation that has lost or is losing the memory of what marriage is and what it means.

And the thing is, no society can survive without marriage. There is no other arrangement that can replace what marriage is. Certainly not the government. But there is no other institution that can replace marriage. Marriage is foundational. It is bedrock. Um, it is absolutely necessary in society. And no society, whether it's Christian or not, no society can survive without marriage.

Without honoring and upholding, this is a foundational value. And so, what we're going to look at today in Malachi chapter 2 is a warning about, uh, marriage. And from that I want to show you some essentials for, uh, godly marriage. So, what we'll do is we'll start off, I want to give you just a quick thumbnail sketch of what marriage is, a definition.

And then we'll take four essentials from Malachi chapter 2 that can be practically applied for us. So, let's dig in. I'll read the paper version in my paper Bible first, Malachi chapter 2, and then we'll go through verse by verse on the screen. Malachi chapter 2, starting in verse 10. And this is God speaking.

Have we not all one Father? Has not one God created us? Why then are we faithless to one another, profaning the covenant of our fathers? Judah has been faithless, and abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem. Let's Um, for Judah has profaned the sanctuary of the Lord, which he loves and has married the daughter of a foreign God.

May the Lord cut off from the tents of Jacob any descendant of the man who does this, who brings an offering to the Lord of hosts. And this second thing you do, you cover the Lord's altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand.

But you say, why does he not? But because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant, did not, did he not make them one with a portion of the spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking?

Godly offspring. So, guard yourselves and your spirit and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. For the man who does not love his wife, but divorces her, says the Lord. The God of Israel covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of Hosts. So, guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.

This is the word of the Lord. Let's define marriage. You can't understand what an unfaithful marriage is, as Malachi is correcting here, unless you already know in your mind what a faithful marriage is. Unless you first defined marriage properly. And, um, Jesus, whenever he is asked a question about divorce in Matthew chapter 19, he doesn't start going to, you know, the book of Deuteronomy or some, uh, law of Moses and be like, well, let me, let me dispute with you some matter of text in the book of Moses.

No, he says, go back to the very beginning. Look at the very beginning where God's design can be seen in its perfect form, uncorrupted by the stain of sin. That's Matthew 19. And so, let's, let's look at this. Because what Jesus does is he gives us a good summary, a good, a good, uh, a good way to define marriage in his response to this question the Pharisees put to him about divorce.

So, Jesus says, Matthew 19, verse 3, And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause? He answered, have you not read So he's going to refer to Genesis, so here's Genesis, man my handwriting is bad, try that again. Have you not read Genesis 1 and 2? Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning, Made them male and female.

And he said, Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother, and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So, they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.

You're putting a jigsaw puzzle together. You don't just grab the pieces and start jamming them together. What do you do? You get the box. And you look at the cover of the box, and you say, oh, that's a vision of what we are trying to create. This vision on the box helps us know where the pieces fit, how it all holds together.

There is something that I'm creating, and I want to look at the box to know how to put the puzzle together. What Jesus is saying here to the Pharisees is like, Hey, guys. You gotta look at the box first. Let's not look at what some particular piece that has to do with divorce. Let's look at the box first.

And once you know what marriage is for and what it's all about, then we're in a better position to answer the question about an individual piece. So, when it comes to marriage, the meaning of it, and the purpose of it, uncorrupted by sin, you look at Genesis 1 and 2. You look at the beginning, uh, before the fall, and that's what Jesus does here.

So, here's our question. What is marriage? What are some of the key features, let's say, of a normal marriage, the way God created it? Well, according to Jesus, the true definition of marriage, as God designed it, will include a few elements. Let me give you five elements, really fast, that we see here in Jesus’ response.

First you see one man and one woman. One man and one woman. So, you have the man and then you have the woman. One man and one woman. Male and female. So, it's not two dudes. It's not three people. It's not a thruple. Uh, it's 2024 and that's a thing. It's not a thruple. It's one man and one woman. Second, they are joined by God.

So here I have what, what, therefore God has joined together, so God joins them together. This is especially true in believing marriages. God is the one that does the joining. Now in Malachi, we read this a moment ago, and we'll see it again in a moment, but I just want to highlight something here. Malachi 2:15, there is this amazing verse. And honestly, it's like, until I studied this, it never quite hit me. The way it did and when I studied it this week. Malachi 2. 15 says did he not make them one with a portion of the Spirit in their union. So, like Theologically, I can't tell you all that that means But at least it indicates, for believing marriages, God's spirit is present in the joining together of a man and a woman.

That's a beautiful thing. That's a very precious thing. I have heard some Christians say things like, well, only true, only Christians can actually have a true marriage. You know, any non-believers, that's not, that's not a real marriage. And that is totally false. Marriage is a gift of creation. It is a creation ordinance that is a gift of God's common grace available to all.

Of course, it is sanctified by faith in Christ. And that's, that's the ideal, that's the goal, but non-Christians are legitimately married and in some mysterious way that I can't exactly explain. Uh, I'm sure we don't fully understand it, but nevertheless, God joins together, even unbelieving couples. It's a real marriage, uh, even with unbelievers.

Uh, number three, it's a lifelong union. So whatever God has joined together, let not man separate. It is meant to be till death do you part. So, God created marriage to be this lifelong covenant union where God joins one man and one woman together. And it is a one flesh union. So, this is the language here.

The two shall become one flesh. So, one flesh, that means that it's, it's a sexual relationship. Now it's, um, obviously, uh, the oneness is not, it's not limited to a sexual relationship. The, the, the oneness encompasses the whole life, but certainly sex, sex is a part of it. It is an essential ingredient to a marriage, is the, the act of sex.

It's one flesh union. And so, um, you see the husband and wife, they separate from their parents. And then they, they focus on one another, and they start a new household together. As husband and wife. So, there is a, there one fleshness. It is a oneness that encompasses their whole life. Their, their bank account, their address, everything about them.

It's like they come together, and they now are a new unit. A new family. Number five, marriage produces kids. Marriage produces kids. So, the one flesh, sexual union, um, birds and the bees, if you didn't know, that makes babies. That's where babies come from. Uh, if you didn't know that, talk to your parents, or maybe ask a pastor later, but this is where babies come from.

So, obviously, this is designed by God to have a product. Marriage has a product. Marriage accomplishes a goal. It creates life. So, one flesh is how a husband and wife are to one another. They're one flesh. And yet, one flesh, Becomes one flesh, literally. It's like a new human being comes out of that one flesh union.

And of course, I need to acknowledge a few things along the way. In a fallen world, barrenness is an effect of the fall. And that does not mean that there is some sin or thing that the couple has done. It's just, it's just a reality in a fallen world. So, we can acknowledge that. While also, So, acknowledging that this is clearly designed by God to operate in a particular way, even though there are exceptions that are very painful for people that, that desire children and are unable to produce children.

So, these things are definitional, definitional for marriage. Marriage is defined by these things, um, and every couple, Christian couple should, should strive for them. Now, before we go on, I want to, um, just say, speak a word of grace here, because anytime you preach about marriage, you see, there's, there's, there's, uh, the, the things that we experience as part of the fall that immediately kind of flood our minds.

And it could be, you know, for a lot, there could be a lot of pain associated with it. I just want to acknowledge that. And as we talk about these things, I just want to, I want to bookend the rest of this sermon with grace. So, I want to start here with grace, and I want to finish with grace. I want everybody to hear it's like these things, there are realities in a fallen world that are outside of our control and just the effects of the fall and yes, effects of our own sin.

And we trust the grace of God, we're bathed in the grace of God. And so, if your situation is not. Does not correspond to the ideal or these things that I want to tell you about as we go through this. Just remember the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ. He died for a reason, right? Uh, Jesus didn't die so that we could all have perfect marriages.

No, Jesus died because we don't have perfect marriages and because we fall short in many ways. And marriage is one of the most significant and impactful ways that we experience the fall. So, remember the grace of God. Even though maybe Painful to talk about. You know, in my own childhood, I grew up around adultery, divorce, remarriage, and child abuse.

I grew up around that. Um, and that wasn't fun, right? I mean, that's painful. And yet, it's like God used that in my life in a redemptive way. And God can use whatever pain or difficult circumstances are in your life in a redemptive way and His, His grace is there and that, that's why it's important for Christians and pastors and churches to talk about these things because any deviation from God's design will, will produce pain.

God tells us the way things should be so that way we can strive towards that as an ideal knowing that whenever we fall short of that it will cause pain. And of course, we always have the grace of Jesus that we cling to. We say, Jesus, I need you to redeem this situation. I need you to forgive my sin.

Forgive my spouse's sin, Lord, uh, make the most out of this bad situation. We always have to acknowledge that. Okay. So, I want to talk about things. I want to have the freedom to talk about it without worrying that people are hearing, you know, condemnation. Because it's not. It's not condemnation. It's like, here is the picture on the box.

Let's talk about the picture on the box and let's try to apply it in a modern time, even though a lot of us, myself included, we all have ways that we don't live up to this or we haven't experienced this. Okay, I want to go through Malachi chapter 2, the verses we read, and show you four essentials. Four essentials of a faithful marriage, and I want to present these to you positively as exhortations or application points, okay?

First point, only marry a like-minded Christian man or woman. Only marry a like-minded Christian man or woman. So, let's look at the text again. Verse 10. Have we Not all one father has not one. God created us. Why then are we faithless to one another? Profaning. The covenant of our fathers Judah has been faithless, and abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem.

For Judah has profaned the sanctuary of the Lord, which he loves. And here, here's, here's the key. and has married the daughter of a foreign god. May the Lord cut off from the tents of Jacob any descendant of the man who does this, who brings an offering to the Lord of hosts. God requires his people to marry only in the Lord.

God requires Christians to only marry other Christians. And I want to add to that like-minded Christians, and I'll get to that in a moment. Why is this, why does this matter? Well, in the Old Testament, and Back in the days of Abraham, God made a covenant with Abraham and to his seed. His family. So, God's covenant was with Abraham and his progeny, the people that would come after him.

His family line throughout, throughout the generations needed to be preserved by faithfulness. And so, God said, you can only marry within the faith and the faith would come from his own family. Now, as the family grew into a nation, they were responsible for maintaining this priority, for making sure that all of the people, because the nation of Israel is just one great big family.

Amen. Dysfunctional family. It's a nation, but it's also just a big family with a lot of dysfunction in it. And throughout, the commitment was that you have to maintain the faith of Abraham in this nation, right? So obviously, if they married foreigners who followed other gods, those religions and those beliefs and practices would corrupt the true faith of God's people.

And then the children that came out of those unions would then be syncretized, you know. The faith of Israel mixed in with the faith of some foreign god, and it would, it would create a lot of confusion. It would dilute the truth of God, and eventually it would, it would cause just people to forget the Lord.

So that was a very big concern. That principle carries over in the New Covenant times. I mean, there are a lot of changes, obviously, but the, the core principle is the same, that you only marry somebody else who is a committed Christian. For Somebody else who believes in the Lord, because if you're following the definition of what marriage is, you're going to be having children, most likely.

And you're going to want to raise those children to believe something and to act in certain ways. And if, and if you're not of the same mind with your spouse, then you're going to be raising your children in a confusing environment at best. And so, it's important that husband and wife are on the same page.

They're both like-minded, committed Christians. 2 Corinthians 6. 14 gives us the verse that You know, you may be most familiar with in this regard. Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. A yoke is of, like a farm implement. You would put on two oxen or two, two, uh, you know, animals, beasts of burden, two donkeys or whatever.

Yoke them together because they're of relatively equal strength. Then they can pull a plow in a straight line. Now, if you put an ox with a donkey, then they are unequally yoked and, you know, the weaker animal is just going to be a burden. It's going to be this extra thing that the ox has to pull. And so, he's saying, do not do this.

Do not be unequally yoked with an unbeliever. So, if you're a Christian, if you get married to a non-Christian, then you are yoking yourself in a permanent covenant union for life with somebody who is not a Christian, somebody who does not share the very core essence of who you are and what is most precious to you.

For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? And the answer is obvious. There is no fellowship. There is a division at the core of your marriage. So, in the modern context, we need to add a qualifier to that rule. So not only, only marry Christians, but only marry like-minded Christians.

Because there are a lot of people that you may know that could be, if you're single, a potential, you know, dating partner or spouse. That, yes, they are regenerate, and they'll be in heaven someday, but they see the world in a very different way. They have very different traditions and beliefs and expectations of the Christian life.

So, if you're single, uh, let me just tell you a few things that you can be looking for. That's some ways that you can determine if he or she is a like-minded Christian. So, you want to be asking, is this person a fully committed disciple of Christ? I'm not saying perfect. I'm not saying flawless. I'm not saying, you know, they can quote the New Testament to you in Greek, but I am saying that you see evidence of a very serious commitment to Jesus Christ.

And if you're interested in somebody, you don't want to just take their word for it. Because if they like you and they want to date you, they're probably going to want to tell you what they think you want to hear. Which is, oh yeah, totally, totally, I'm totally a strong Christian, very, very Christian. The man upstairs, he's my guy, alright, man upstairs, I'm all about that fella.

I'm like, well, no, you want to, you want to look for some evidence that the, that the person is a, is a real, a real genuine Christian. Do their actions indicate that? So, here's some examples. Does he or she have a consistent track record of attending church every week for at least a year? I'm not saying, you know, never miss for sick or vacation, but do they have a consistent track record of just showing up at church?

I mean, that's, that's got a baseline Christian commitment, right? Is that their track record? Number two, who are their biggest spiritual influences? Ask them. You listen to sermons, you know, Bible teachers, books, you know. What, what feeds you out, you know, you know, other supplemental things outside of your church family?

What's feeding you spiritually? Now, if they're like, ah, Joyce Meyer, man, she's my jam. Well, maybe hard pass on that. Or, Stephen Furtick, man, I never miss a sermon. I'm like, all right. Uh, well, it was nice meeting you, um, I'll be, I'll be heading home now. It's like, you want to find somebody, um, if they say Paul Washer, like, okay, you're probably pretty intense, but same tribe, all right?

But like find out, find out what is, what, what, uh, forms and nurses them spiritually. So, um, here's another one. Are you like minded with how they see the world? What are their political views? I mean, it's a sad reality, but politics is a very, very big indicator of your worldview. And so, if you, I mean, I can, you hear this, you know, every other year or so, usually even years about how divisive politics can be in a marriage.

Because if, if she's a Democrat and he's a Republican, then there's going to be constant reminders of how you see things differently. And I'm not saying that the Republican Party is God's party, I'm saying that you want to make sure that he or she doesn't have a very divergent view of, of just how the world is and what, what our Christian place is in this world.

Politics is a good indicator of that. Do you have, number four, do you have similar desires regarding family? You know, I can, pre-marital counseling at CTK, we have this prepare, enrich, um, um, Tool that we use and one of the questions is how many children would you like to have? Because in 2024, you know, we, we have a lot of control over that, right?

Um, and if, you know, he says one and she says seven, then they probably have some things to work through before the wedding day. Or maybe they just have very divergent priorities. So, do you want, like, you should, every Christian couple should desire to, to procreate, to have a family. But do you see that the same way?

And if there's very, very different, different views, that could, that could cause problems. Thank you. Another thing is, do you see your roles within a marriage in the same way? Do you see it's like, husband and wife, pretty much interchangeable, you know, um, of course she has to birth the babies, but other than that, you know, uh, we all just kind of, everything's just sort of this, we do it all together and everything's the same.

Or do you see it's like, you know, she really is, it's best for a woman to prioritize the home as a, as a major focus of her life and her vocation, and he needs to prioritize providing for the home to enable her to do that. Now, that's my view. That's the view of most people here. I think that's a biblical view.

Um, but if you don't, if you're not on the same page about that, then that's going to cause problems down the line when you actually have children that you bring into the home and you're trying to figure out who does what. Because not everything should just be a coin flip or what do you feel like doing or what do I feel like doing.

It's good to have some expectations that you can bring into the marriage. Um, number five, does he want to lead his family in a godly way? So, is this a man, a man of conviction? That's it. You're going to want, um, men, husbands, um, or women looking for a husband. You want to find a man who has some conviction.

He's you want to know where, where does he want to take you? Is he leading you in a, in a direction? And is that, is that clear in his own mind? And I'm not saying, you know, he has to have, you know, the next 20 years mapped out with a detailed plan and a, you know, strategic action steps or whatever. I'm just saying, but does he know what he wants out of life?

And does he know how marriage and children kind of, you know, all of these pieces fit together. Does he have a, does he have a vision of where he's headed? It's good that it's good to have that. And finding a spouse where you are aligned on those things, it's, it's a wonderful gift and blessing. I've done so many weddings at our church, and I've just, I've seen this blessing over and over again.

As, of course, we have marriages that are hard, and, you know, people have challenges, but I think the baseline that we've seen, at least in this church, is healthy marriages of godly men, godly women, because marriages here, typically, you know what you're getting, you know what you're after, and we've worked through any of these questions, so there's no ambiguity, and you have healthy expectations.

That's good. Okay, that's number one. Only marry a like-minded Christian man or woman. Here's number two. Number two, stay true to your spouse. Stay true to your spouse. And I'm speaking of, um, sexual fidelity. For the most part. Verses 13 and 14. The second thing you do. You cover the Lord's altar with tears.

With weeping and groaning because he's no, he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. Basically, you come into the Lord's temple and you're offering, offering a gift and you know that the Lord is not receiving this gift. Why is the Lord not receiving it? Verse 14, but you say, why does he not?

Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth to have, to whom you have been faithless. You've been cheating on her, and you expect to show up in church, and God be like, ah, bless, I received that offering. Well, you're cheating on your wife? The Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and wife by covenant.

Every covenant has witnesses. Biblically, there's a, there are parties who witness the making of a covenant. And so, in a wedding ceremony, we do that. That's why we have, uh, you know, guests that come and, you know, even on you, you sign, like I've, I've signed like the marriage certificates and some of you have done that.

Um, you have witnesses, people sign it because you're giving witness to a covenant, something that is a, uh, that has weight and meaning. And what God says here is God is one of those witnesses, not just that God was aware because he's aware of everything, but the Lord. was witness between you and your wife.

So, he, he is there bearing witness to the fact that you made a covenant with this, uh, with your husband or wife. So wedding, I mean, weddings are nice. They're fun. They're pretty. But it's not just a time to get together and wear pretty clothes, and you say some pretty words, and you have a good time, and you play some music, and it's fun, you have some cake.

A wedding is a covenant ceremony. Now, of course, there's lots of joy and celebration. It is a good time. All of those things are true. It's a beautiful time. It's a good time. But the actual thing that you're there, the most central thing that you're there to do, is a very serious thing. You are making a covenant before God as witness.

So, the husband and wife stand before God and they make a promise, a vow. My life, my money, my commitment, my loyalty, my body is yours and yours alone. That's the promise you make. So sexual immorality, when, um, when the person is not married, we call that fornication. Fornication is sexual immorality with somebody who isn't married.

It's taking something that isn't yours. Adultery is different. Adultery includes taking something that isn't yours. It includes the sexual immorality. But it also adds covenant breaking. That's why in the Bible it is, it is given, there's a different word for it. Because it is a, it is a double offense. Not only is it sexually immoral, but you made a vow to not do that to this husband or wife that you made this covenant to.

So married couples, you want to be, you want to be smart and build safeguards into your marriage to prevent this from happening and to help eliminate the temptation to it. You want to protect your, protect you from adultery. So, I have three suggestions for you. First suggestion is go on dates. Amen? Ladies?

You want to say it? Ladies are like, yes, take me on dates. Um, go on date with your wife. Now you, consistent time together is food for your marriage. It nourishes and strengthens your marriage because it, it is a relationship. What's going on with you? What are you thinking? What are you feeling? Here's what's going on with me.

Here's what I'm thinking. Here's what I'm feeling. Oh, we, we think differently about that. Oh, we, we have different feelings on this. Those are things that you are, want to be able to talk about. Because if you don't, then misunderstanding can accumulate and it can really be a, a drain on the marriage. It can be harmful.

So, you want to go on regular dates. I'm not saying that you, you need to spend a lot of money either. When you hear date night. A lot of times you think, well, that's 150, you know, I can't afford that unless I want to take her to White Castle. It's like, you know, you can do, uh, you can spend this time together, a date.

It's like make a bologna sandwich, get a blanket, go sit in a park and talk and eat your sandwich and watch YouTube videos on your phone. Do something just to have like this time is me and you. I want to focus on you and, and there's, and, and I'm going to remove distraction here. Um, second, second suggestion is take care of your body, take care of your body.

Obviously, um, over time, you, you get older. Your metabolism slows down.

[Sermon Paused for Medical Emergency]

Musicians, if you want to come forward, I'll continue, I'll finish out this prayer and then, um, maybe I'll write the rest of my notes in a blog post. But, Lord, I thank you for, um, I thank you for marriage. And Lord, just on theme with what we've been talking about, you tell us in, in scripture that marriage is a picture of the gospel, Christ's relentless, steadfast pursuit of his bride, his love that is faithful, that is unfailing, that never, you never let go.

You never abandon your people. And Lord, we are faithless. We are prone to wander, prone to leave the God we love. And we thank you, Jesus, that you are the faithful bridegroom, and we are your bride. Though we are faithless, and we wander, we thank you that we can come here knowing that it is through the blood of Jesus Christ that we have access to you, and that when we believe in Jesus, that you seal us, and we become your bride. We become, we are united with Christ in this covenant union that is, that's why you created marriage. When you created Adam and Eve and you, you instituted the very first marriage in the garden. You did so anticipating prophetically the truth that would ultimately be proclaimed in the gospel.

You tell us Ephesians five. This mystery is profound, and I'm saying it refers to Christ in the church. And so, we thank you, God, that marriage means so much more than just a man and a woman choosing to live together and make some babies and have a good life. But marriage testifies to something cosmic in its meaning.

And so, Lord, I pray that just the gravity of the moment of Bobby's mother and whatever's going on with her, Lord, I pray that, that you will press that into our hearts and that the message that we will remember as we are, as we move on into coming to the table, Lord, that we have eternal life through Christ and that eternal life, that redemption that you purchased is pictured for us in the gift of marriage.

And so, Lord, may that add gravity to our marriages as we remember our need to be faithful to our marriage covenant and to live faithfully for you and Lord, may we also, uh, let that our own marriages or human marriages and all of our weaknesses and frailty and flaws and sin and fearful things that happen.

May those things point us to the faithful groom who will never let us down. May we always remember, Jesus, you are the perfect groom, so we thank you for that. We give you all glory. We worship your name. Settle our hearts now, and may we receive the bread and the cup at your table with joy and gladness. We pray in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

Amen.